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Wow! Mommin’ is hard! Those first few weeks or months on no sleep! Swollen breasts, milk everywhere, spit up everywhere, and not to mention the pain of actually giving birth! Let’s say you’re a mom, friend, or husband and you want to help! Most people don’t accept help easily so here are 10 things a newborn momma needs but won’t tell you!
1. Don’t ask! Just do! – Short little I love you visits! Yes I know you’re afraid of stepping on her toes but offering to come over and help with sanitizing the house, making her a cup of coffee or tea, helping her organize, or even just throwing a load of laundry in her washer will make her feel supported. In a short amount of time her life has just went from zero to a thousand in 2.5 seconds. She’s trying to figure out a sleep schedule, a feeding schedule, how to soothe her baby when he’s crying while managing to keep everything going and it’s hard! She needs you right now!
2. Let her sleep – That girl is tired! She’s been up all night and all day. She probably barely knows what day it is. Offer to come take care of the baby while she sleeps. I promise she will thank you for it! I’ll never forget when I got a solid 4 hours of sleep after having my first son. When he was hungry my mom would bring him in. I would nurse him and she would take him back. If you’re a mom or a friend or spouse please let her recharge those very low sleeping batteries. It will make her happier and less moody (she can’t help it with those crazy hormones) so it’s a win for everyone.
3. Gift cards – All the gift cards! Especially in this time when she can’t really go to the store for fear of exposing herself or her newborn to Covid. Some good ideas are amazon, restaurants, target, anywhere that will deliver straight to her house so she doesn’t have to get out.
4. House work – The laundry is piling up with old spit up rags, the dishes and bottles need to be washed out, the floors haven’t been mopped or the sheets changed. She’s in survival mode and barely making it. This is where you can really help her out! Help her pick up the house…if she’s like me she will tell you to stop and you just have to remind her that I love you and this too shall pass and you are there for her. Go ahead and take out that big pile of diapers from changing the newborn 7 times a day, throw some essential oils in her diffuser and do those dishes. She will feel so much better having a clear space to bond with her baby.
5. Food-This again is a big one. She is so busy she probably won’t be able to make a lot of meals! One thing that can really help her out is preparing food for her and not just the week of delivery. Her milk supply depends on that food! So making a little “goodie box” with products that can help her be able to eat quickly without cooking in between diaper changes is a life saver! Anything with oats like little breakfast bars, protein drinks, lactation cookies, and multiple bottles of water or Gatorade. She needs to stay hydrated to make that liquid gold. One of my favorite things to make for newborn mommas is taco soup because it can be frozen and warmed up in the microwave in a few minutes.
6. Reassurance – With all the information out there it’s only justified she will feel overwhelmed with information, is she doing this right? Reminding her that she is doing a great job and a routine will take time for her and for the baby, they are still learning each other will put her mind at ease. Make her a little note on the fridge or put it on the mirror somewhere she can find it that says something inspiring for her. Chances are you know her sometimes better than she knows herself so those little notes everywhere will give her something to look forward to and reassure her that she’s got this momma thing. Never underestimate the power of sweet texts and phone calls!
7. Get her out of the house – I know with Covid the options are somewhat limited but her whole life has been revolved around this newborn that depends on her for almost everything. Encourage her to take a walk around the block or just go in the back yard and relax for a little while without having to worry about the baby. Let her read her book, take a shower, or just see the sunshine for a minute.
8. Stool softeners – Man those painkillers can really cause some constipation! Let just be honest it happens to everyone but it’s rarely something people will tell you about. Encourage her to drink water and take some stool softeners. Make sure she has them at her house available.
9. Help with her other children – Being a first time mom is hard…it’s even harder if you’re a second time mom sometimes because now you have more than one child that depends on you for food, baths, and all the other goodies. Offer to come take the other child/children away so she can get some time to herself with the newborn. Take them to get ice cream or take them around the block on their bikes. Bonus if they can stay the night at your house.
10. Panties – Yes she’s probably wearing granny panties right now but she won’t be forever and there’s a good chance her not laundry day cute panties might not fit. A gift card to victoria’s secret is just the way to help her feel sexy, which she probably doesn’t right now with milk leaking out of everywhere wearing a pad the size of Texas.
It’s not all pretty but it’s worth it! You being there for her will not only help her bond with her baby but you will be with her in one of her most vulnerable states and I promise she will never forget it.
With love,
Ash
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